what even is this show
Life is too short to be holding on to old grudges
Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):
OF THE BRILLIANT:
STUFF IT HAS IN IT:
WHAT THE HELL
I think that if voldemort really wanted to kill harry potter the night the spell didn’t work on him he could’ve just picked him up and thrown him out a window given the fact that he was a one year old infant
This guy’s vines give me life
Thomas Sanders is a gift to this world
I have a theory on Thomas Sanders that he can control minds and rather than using this gift for evil, he uses it to make funny vines. Like, a classroom full of kids? mind control. The teacher of the class? mind control. Cop pulls him over? you better believe that dude is gonna sing Don’t Stop Believing with him, mind control.
whenever i use scissors i always have this brief thought of “ohoho man imagine if i accidentally snipped off my nipple”
It would hurt a lot but it would grow back, nipples are one of the few parts of the body that entirely regenerateU N L I M I T E D N I P P L E SNO DO NOT TRY THIS AT ANY COSTDO NOT CUT OFF YOUR NIPPLES THEY ARE IN FACT LIMITEDL I M I T E D N I P P L E S
which fucking fedora wearing friendzoned nerd made this thing
yeah but notice that the seal’s intent is to eat those fish and the shark offers a mutually beneficial relationship for them
in which a dudebro unintentionally makes a really accurate analogy for the reason that they’re single forever
That’s a whale shark. They’re docile and in no way threatening to people or those fish depicted. Seals, by contrast, will attack people, possibly out of a frustrated sense of entitlement combined with poor socialization skills.
When analogies fail but then actually are super truthful.
I think someone needs to put a fedora on the seal
A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.
As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.
Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.
And guess what? They’re changing the whole damn policy now. Instead of one free drink of choice, you’ll have a $4 off coupon. So, good job, asshole. You ruined it for everyone.